My mother

This morning began with my 88 year old mother letting me know she felt sick to her stomach, and wanted ice water.  She wanted to rest after drinking some water.

A little later she called me into her room and was vomiting.  I called 911 and paramedics recommended she go right to the hospital.

Very high BP, heart rate not good, her blood sugar high.  My mother has diabetes 2.

My sister and myself signed paper work for no resuscitation as the process with her very frail and delicate condition…her heart, failing kidneys…is a very painful process for the patient to go through.  The cardiologist also said a pacemaker procedure at her age and with her health would not be beneficial.

So, she was admitted to a regular floor, not intensive care and my sister and myself will both be at her bedside early in the morning and hoping for an improvement with her vitals.  Her vitals are poor.

This is a very, very delicate time right now for our family and one in which none of us were prepared for.  Yesterday, she felt good and had no complaints, ate well at each meal and felt good at bedtime.  Today a very uncomfortable and painful experience at the hospital with tests, x-rays, a CT scan, IV’s and necessary medications.

Even so my mother was in and out, I was able to tell her I loved her, and she told me she loved me too.

I felt it was all I needed to say to her because it is quite possible it is all the communication I may have with her, and I didn’t want her to pass away without hearing those words.  I love you mom.

I am anxiously awaiting for morning to arrive and I am praying that overnight a miracle will happen and she will be back home where she belongs.  It is quite possible she may not be however.  Yes, very serious right now per the Dr., and nurses.

I never thought I would ever be without my mother and I have read the words of so many of my friends that have lost their mother’s and I now know how they felt.

Your heart feels broken, you feel lost, any bad memories dissipate, you only think of all the good times and you never felt this time would be near, happening to you, your family.

Love and cherish your parents always. They are the most important people you will ever know.  They gave us our lives, they loved us unconditionally, took care of us until we left home to be on our own, took us back in during times of troubles or need.  Helped us get through whatever we may be going through and just never stopped loving and caring.

I will miss my mother dearly…