My mother

This morning began with my 88 year old mother letting me know she felt sick to her stomach, and wanted ice water.  She wanted to rest after drinking some water.

A little later she called me into her room and was vomiting.  I called 911 and paramedics recommended she go right to the hospital.

Very high BP, heart rate not good, her blood sugar high.  My mother has diabetes 2.

My sister and myself signed paper work for no resuscitation as the process with her very frail and delicate condition…her heart, failing kidneys…is a very painful process for the patient to go through.  The cardiologist also said a pacemaker procedure at her age and with her health would not be beneficial.

So, she was admitted to a regular floor, not intensive care and my sister and myself will both be at her bedside early in the morning and hoping for an improvement with her vitals.  Her vitals are poor.

This is a very, very delicate time right now for our family and one in which none of us were prepared for.  Yesterday, she felt good and had no complaints, ate well at each meal and felt good at bedtime.  Today a very uncomfortable and painful experience at the hospital with tests, x-rays, a CT scan, IV’s and necessary medications.

Even so my mother was in and out, I was able to tell her I loved her, and she told me she loved me too.

I felt it was all I needed to say to her because it is quite possible it is all the communication I may have with her, and I didn’t want her to pass away without hearing those words.  I love you mom.

I am anxiously awaiting for morning to arrive and I am praying that overnight a miracle will happen and she will be back home where she belongs.  It is quite possible she may not be however.  Yes, very serious right now per the Dr., and nurses.

I never thought I would ever be without my mother and I have read the words of so many of my friends that have lost their mother’s and I now know how they felt.

Your heart feels broken, you feel lost, any bad memories dissipate, you only think of all the good times and you never felt this time would be near, happening to you, your family.

Love and cherish your parents always. They are the most important people you will ever know.  They gave us our lives, they loved us unconditionally, took care of us until we left home to be on our own, took us back in during times of troubles or need.  Helped us get through whatever we may be going through and just never stopped loving and caring.

I will miss my mother dearly…

12 thoughts on “My mother

  1. Oh Sandy – my heart goes out to you & your sister. It’s 9am here and we’re on our way to church soon. I shall light candles for the three of you and keep you in my prayers. Take care. Much love Wendy xxxx

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    • Thank you so much Wendy. I simply can’t go to sleep. I called the nurses station and the nurse told me her heart rate when she arrived was 44 and has been staying at 67, BP still a little high, she is sleeping now. I began sobbing and telling the nurse how I felt, and she told me she understood and I should call her whenever I feel I need to. My sister just got off the phone with me, she too called the nurse, the nurse was confused because we both sound alike on the phone…my sister wanted to go and stay overnight in her room, the nurse said let her rest, her body, her mind has been through so much today, she needs her rest. So we will be going in the morning. Thank you for thinking of us and keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. It means much to me. Hugs and love to you Wendy ❤

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    • Thank you so much Terry, I just got back from visiting, filled out her menus up to breakfast tomorrow. Mom was coherent, doesn’t remember a thing about yesterday and we were able to talk with her. Her coloring looked so much better…better than blending in with her pillow! My sister and I will be meeting with the social worker tomorrow morning for signing some paperwork. Dr. wants to place her in a home…so she can receive extended care. Personally, I don’t think mom will be returning home here…she has a damaged heart and from the Troponin levels from blood tests taken. Troponin is a protein specific to the heart. CT Scan and x rays also show an enlarged heart.

      I will keep us posted of course as to how our mother is doing.

      Thank you again ❤

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  2. Sandy, I am so sorry your mom is so sick. My mom is 94 and I am always worried about her too. She’s very frail. I just picture your mom as i used to know her. Such a strong and very funny lady. She has such a quick wit and dry sense of humor. She always made me laugh when we were kids. I’m praying for her to pull thru this. Stay strong, Sandy. My healing thoughts and prayers are with you all.

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    • Thank you so much Karen. I just returned from visiting her in the hospital, and today she is looking so much better. Dr. came in…her heart is enlarged and there is a protein only the heart produces that is very much so elevated called Troponin. Her heart is damaged. Monday, Debby and I are meeting with the social worker as she will be placed in a home, temporarily for her extended care. When she was in the ER they had to use the crash cart…so pretty bad.

      Yes, still has her sense of humor and I can still hear your laughter! Lol!!

      I am certain you and your sister and family do worry about your mom, grandma…they are precious member of the family.

      Thank you so much for remembering her in your prayers…I fell asleep saying mine very early this morning.

      Love and hugs to you Karen and be sure to give your mom a hug for me…I can still hear her laughter too and see her smile. xo

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